Heartland Kennels of Oklahoma
Heartland Kennels of Oklahoma
Founded in 2020, Heartland Kennels of Oklahoma is dedicated to providing quality, health tested, registered Pembroke corgis and American corgis. Health and temperament are number one and we put a lot of time and care into each puppy so that they are well rounded for their new families.
Dear Customer,
Congratulations on acquiring your adorable lil corgi.
Please find the instructions for your particular model listed below:
Although your corgi comes fully assembled, due to particular issues during production, we do occasionally have issues with components such as screws. They invariably are either loose or missing altogether.
Mode 1: This is the sleep mode, activated for minimal times throughout the day, this is normal and you should not worry about it, just accept the peace and quiet when you can.
Mode 2: Anarchy. Although we have tried to ease the effect of anarchy mode, it’s not always possible. There are inherent issues with the timer settings of anarchy mode in regards to there being none. Should your corgi suddenly go from comatose to running around the walls, we cannot stop this feature.
Sunlight: Do not leave your corgi out in the sun too long as sometimes anarchy mode gets stuck and they can overheat. However, they do recharge.
Energy consumption: This has been an ongoing issue as their energy consumption is too direct. We have tried to put baffles, non return valves and diversions in place but none seem to work adequately. Safe to say what goes in comes out, in both solids and gas. The gas, although noxious, can only inhibit breathing of the owner for up to ten minutes.
Naming: Your corgi comes untitled as we feel owners should use names of their own. If you are unsure, we have listed below a few names our owners like to use:
Sh!thead
Nutjob
You’re kidding me
Is that yours?
Don’t you dare
Ok, you
A$$hole
Put that down
Why?
Get that out of your mouth
Software: Your corgi is pre-installed with the highest software and hardware. This includes the loyalty chip, fun chip, the biting chip and, of course, the highly popular mayhem chip. They are all running on the Whatthehell operating system 12.2. Although this has been in circulation for many years, we have found it simply cannot be improved upon.
Should you have any queries you can reach us on 1800-what-did-I-do
Thank you.
We hope you have many years of enjoyment with your corgi.
Please be aware that by the time you have read this, your warranty will have run out.
Unfortunately, we do not renew warranties and we do not offer refunds or returns..ever. It’s your problem now. (jk)
Copyright © 2020 Heartland Kennels - All Rights Reserved.
Powered by GoDaddy
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.